Stranger Than An Open Heart

Stranger Than An Open Heart
(AU)
Hazel eyes blinked up from the trunk of the car and caught a set of chocolate brown, the owner of the darker irises looked a little worse for wear, a bruise lay over one cheek and black bags from lack of sleep hung heavy under his eyes, wich seemed to have no light left in them, his skin looked pale and it seemed that he was pushing through the day the same way a drowning man would try to push through a deep, vast ocean, searching for some way out, as a general rule he tried not to get involved in other peoples' lives, too messy, too much trouble, too much vulnerability for him to bare again, and usually that paid off, he ha a decent life now and he didn't have to worry about other people getting hurt, or about hurting him, but for some reason he felt like maybe... maybe he needed to break that rule just this once, the guy looked horrible, like he had just been attackted by an emotional parrasite, and the chances of the two of them ever seeing eachother again- much less getting involved in eachother's lives- were about as slim as him driving to Montana and buying a horse ranch, so considering that he lived in Beacon Hills California and was much more fond of his current profession he just didn't see that happening, besides, what was five minutes out of his day off if those five minutes could seriously help this guy? Maybe.... he just needed to vent for five minutes.... or to confess for five minutes that his thoughts were too dark and he needed help but didn't know who to ask, maybe.... maybe five minutes.. could save this guy..... so he took a deep breath and shut the trunk of his car, marching towards the distressed individual who seemed to be fiddling with his own car keys and clearing his throat, the brunett jumped and looked behind him, "Can I help you?" he asked instantly, "Um...." well great, he hadn't actually thought of a way to do this without sounding like a creep, the chances of being arrested today were escalating.... "I... noticed you were having some car trouble, and... I'm a fair enough mechanic," the brown-eyed, slightly younger male stared at him sceptically before holding up his keys, "I was looking for the car key," he said with a look of confusion, there were probbably twelve keys on that ring..... atleast twelve.... "Oh," he muttered quietly, there was a tense, awkward silence before he tried again, "I... look... you look like you could use someone to talk to and... I'm... available ... so..." he remembered very suddenly and clearly now why he was never the starter of conversations, "Right.... random act of kindness for today? Talking me off a ledge?" and the sarcasm was deep with this one, "Do you need to be talked off a ledge?" he countered, smooth.... "If I did why would you bother with me? How do you know that anything you say is going to change anything?" "Um..." about as smooth as a pile of rocks.... "It's worth a try, even if you don't listen to me if there's a chance that I can help... I don't want to go home thinking there's something I could've done," a pause, slowly the shorter man returned his car keys to his pocket and walked over to the stoop of a nearby, closed down dog groomer's, sitting on it and taking a deep breath, "I've ... got issues ok?" he finally offered, "What kind of issues?" "I... dream about death, alot," he confessed, slowly, the larger man sat beside him and nodded, "You know in dreams... death rarely ever signifies REAL death? There are alot of ways that a person can die, it doesn't always mean they stop breathing," "Well what else could it mean?" he countered, way to test his very narrow nowledge of dream interpertations.... "It could mean a departure, maybe someone close to you is moving away or maybe you're afraid that they're going to leave you, maybe it signifies rebirth, a relationship you've had is suddenly changing and you're afraid of that or the person themselves changed, maybe you went through a break up recently and you're scared to find someone else," he considered this for a moment, nodding his head, "Nice try Dr. Phil but no go, I've never been in a relationship, the only crush I've ever had ended right after high school, nobody's moving, I mean I've only got like ONE real freind... maybe two.... if you count the ex-crush.... and my freind's girlfreind but I don't know.... they're not moving," "Maybe you're afraid you will though, you only have one real freind so ... maybe you're afraid of losing that person?" it seemed to strike a nerve because the brown-eyed man swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment, "Maybe... but.. I don't know why it's coming up all of a sudden... I just... can't ... stop thinking about ... death... it's in my dreams and in my head and .... I am so sick and tired of feeling like I'm drowning all the time... I want to take a breath... I want to feel normal again... but... for the last two months... my life has caved in... it started in the beginning of December and hasn't given me a break.... I feel so.... so frustrated... like a bottle of soda that's all shook up but no one will take off the cap..." a pause, Brown Eyes running his fingers through his hair and gripping it tightly, "What... was the catalyst of all this?" he asked slowly, a glance up, "You're gonna think I'm crazy..... like.... call the men with the big nets... kinda... crazy..." he said slowly, "No I won't, I'm sure I've heard worse," the taller, hazel eyed man confirmed, "I... I sorta... freaked out... um.... see I have really bad White Coat Syndrome.... and .. my freind convinced me to get my teeth looked at- I use 'convince' loosely, he bribed me- and... well... they found a cavity and I had a panic attack and nearly hypervenalated myself into a coma, and for the past month I've been freaking out about it all the time... and I'm more sensitive to everything now, my dog chewed through my headphones last night and I felt suffocated... I feel like I can't handle anything all of a sudden.... and this fear is eating away at me.... and the nightmares started right after that, Scott's always- that's his name, Scott's his name- he's always trying to protect me and then he just.... DIES and I don't know what that means and it's scaring me as much as reality is, if not more, he's ... all I've really got ya' know? I've woken him up so many times screaming in the past month and he never complains but I can tell how SICK he is of me... I can see how tired he is every night.... as gross as my eyes look his are like... RED.... black and red... and that sounds cooler than it is because he always looks so tired and I know it's 'cause of me.... but I don't know how to make myself stop either.... every day that I don't find a solution for my phobias I get more frustrated, and I rant to him even when I don't mean to, and he tries to help but he's just tired.... and I'm tired too... and everything's just CHANGING.... it's one of those transition periods ya' know? Where nothing can stay the same? My car has had to be taken to the mechanic's like four times in the last month and things keep breaking and I feel like everything is just... going wrong.... like all of a sudden I'm helpless... and I'm taking it all out on Scott and it's not his fault and .... what if he decides he can't take it anymore either and tells me to leave? I knew... it was a bad idea to live together like this but... I mean... it's not like either of us are making great money and it seemed like a better idea at the time than just staying with my dad at age nineteen.... and..." he let out a breath that he seemed to have been holding and glanced up into the hazel eyes that first noticed him, "I sound like a freak don't I?" "No, you sound normal," a shallow laugh, "Normal? I'm telling you I have premonitions about death and freaked out over a cavity and I'm driving my roommate up the wall and that's... somehow that's normal to you? God what must YOUR life be like?" he joked, "No I.... I've been there, I have my own problums and... I know people who, believe it or not, are kind of loopier than you are? And you're not loopy, I mean.... there's no real standard for what stresses someone out or scares them, and having fears and stresses is part of life, it's normal, you said you're always giving your freind a hard time, have you thought about talking to someone else about all this? Someone not so close to the situation who might have a fresh mind?" he glanced at him and licked his lips, "I'm talking to you aren't I?" another pause, "Yeah... alright that's fair... look, if your freind has stuck with you through all this and hasn't even COMPLAINED yet, you have a real gem of a freind and I don't think he'd leave no matter how bad your anxiety gets, and that's all this is, anxiety," "Well don't start pushing pills 'cause THAT just made things worse," he snorted, "I found this hollistic crap that helps... it... it puts alot of it back to normal for me but .... I'm still overwelmed," "Well that's... normal, when I first moved here I kept finding reasons to drive back to Terrace Feild were I'm from... I went back just to buy flowers once, because ... I had it in my mind that once I slept in that new house... my old life would be over, and it kind of was, the last two years have been alot different than they were then but... they're better," hazel and brown met yet again and the smaller of the two gave a sigh, "So what are you, like some out of work therapist or something?" "Um, no," he chuckled back, standing up and brushing his pants off, "I'm Derek Hale, I just opened the used bookstore down from the highschool, it's right across from the apartment complex," "Dude that's where I live!" and for the first time Derek saw a small smile cross his face, "Scott and I live on the third floor of that building, we can look down and see your place," "Well that's convinient, my house is about a block away from your apartment," he added, "Wow, talk about coincidence," he chuckled, seeming to suddenly remember something and holding his hand out, "I'm Stiles, by the way, I um, I'm a professional researcher, kinda, work at home but mostly get college and high school kids asking for help so...." "That's an interesting career," Derek mused, "Yeah.... so..... thanks Derek, for listening you know?" "Sure, do you.... do you want to get some food, by any chance?" there went the leap of faith... "Yeah, that... sounds good," Stiles agreed, and it looks like he landed on soft ground after all...

~+~

"Maybe if you just do something really small for him it'll give him a little breath of air? Clean the apartment, cook dinner, something like that, instead of apologizing all the time," Derek suggested, "Yeah... the dishes and laundry are piling up... guess I could do that and order pizza...." by "cook dinner" Derek hadn't meant "order pizza" but whatever the nineteen-year-old could do was good enough, his roommate was probbably a pizza addict anyhow, "As far as your nightmares, have you told him about them?" "No I mean... he knows I have nightmares but I haven't.... how do you tell someone 'I dream of you dieing every night'?" "Just like that, just tell him that you're anxious about him deserting you, often timse if you get a little reassurance that fear will atleast lessen," he suggested as he took another big bite out of his burger, "You SURE you're not just an out of work therapist?" Stiles pressed, he was finding it hard to believe he just ran into a random bookstore owner with a bank of advice lieing in wait... Derek swallowed, nodding slowly, "I was a peramedic for a wile though," "Really? Why'd you go into selling used books then?" Stiles wrinkled his nose, seemed like an odd choice... Derek was silent for a moment, eyes downcast before he glanced back up at his new freind, "Too much death," he finally answered, Stiles nodded his understanidng instantly, "I can see that," he said quietly, "Do you know why you have such horrible medical phobias?" he asked, switching the subject back to Stiles, "No, not really, just... always have, my entire life, I mean my dad tells me that when I was four I got thrown out of a dentist's office and when I was three I kicked my pediatrition in the crotch and when I was a baby I screamed so loudly that it scared people, and that was just during normal stuff like baths and weighing and crap but .... only when I was at a doctor's office," Derek nodded slowly and glanced down, running his fingers across the stubble on his chin, "Hm.... not really sure what to do with that... have you tried hypnotism?" "Yeah to get rid of the anxiety but that didn't do much good, Scott had a past life regression once and talked about some of his own stuff that sorta effected me but nothing like this... although back in Salem they hanged me for being a witch," he said with a sarcastic smirk and a thumb's up, "....Actually I can see that," Derek muttered back, "I don't know.... I feel like ... I don't know..." he sighed, "Well.. you don't seem opposed to psychics... maybe you could go to a legitimate one and figure out what's got you so worked up .. and then.... I... don't actually know all that much about this sort of thing..." Stiles shook his head and popped a french fry in his mouth, "Eh, it's fine.... Scott and I are a little bit occultists so.... ya' know.... plus his boss, this vet he works with- Scott's a vet tech- he's like... Wiccan or something, I keep thinking he'd know how to help but.... every time I ask him about it he just says he doesn't know," Derek nodded slowly, "You know... I MIGHT know someone who can give you a good referral... but... it may take me a wile to get in touch with him, he moved a wile ago so..." "Don't worry about it," Stiles hummed, pausing and blinking suddenly, the straw of his drink half-way in his mouth, "Hey am I keeping you from something?" hazel eyes blinked and Derek shook his head, "Oh um... no... no, today's my day off.... um... everything's fine," Stiles nodded slowly and hesitantly reached out, laying his hand on the table, palm up, as he took a drink of his soda, Derek hesitated but he didn't know what else that gesture could mean so.... he put his hand on top of the one on the table and felt an oddly peacefull sensation, a break out of chills, travel up his spine as Stiles wrapped his fingers slowly around Derek's and the nineteen-year-old looked into Derek's eyes, "So can I have your number or should I just drop by your house whenever I have the urge?" he asked with a sly grin, "Both," Derek grinned, apparently catching the younger man off guard, "I need to go find a pen...." he muttered, pausing when he looked back up at Stiles, "I never asked... what happened to your face?" as if on reflex Stiles touched his injured cheek and shook his head, "It's nothing, do-" "It's not NOTHING," Derek protested, gently reaching out to touch it, "It's never nothing..." there was a short moment of silence before Stiles sighed and leaned back, "I got into a fight.... with someone I shouldn't have.... and ... I actually came out of it worse than the other guy," hazel eyes narrowed, Derek's face taking on a much gruffer appearence, "Are you pressing charges?" "No... I don't even know the guy's name...." the older man seemed far more concerned than just that but slowly got up anyway, "Let me get a pen and I'll write my number down... then will you let me clean that up a little better? You don't seem to have taken care of it very well," "Yeah well it happened like three hours ago so..." "Oh..... I'll... be right back," Derek said a little awkwardly, walking off mindlessly in search of a pen and muttering to himself that that horse ranch in Montana looked like it was going to happen after all, Stiles took the oppertunity to take out his cell phone and type out a quick text message to his roommate before Derek came back

To: Scott McCall
Hey! I'm gonna be out for a wile ok? Might be kinda late.... might not be home until late.... or ... tommorrow... ya' know whatever.... but listen I want to talk to you later ok? There's some important stuff goin' on and..... I'm pretty sure I found my mate....