Storks And Babies
Rukia was enjoying the quiet, early morning, sipping at her tea, wen her oldest child, Tsuki, came stomping down the stairs, like I said before she WAS enjoying it, "Mommy! Mommy!" she called, Rukia bit back a grin, oh how she loved that name more than any other, "Yes?" she asked, placing her tea on the table and shutting the door to the porch, "Uncle Shiro and Aunt Momo had a baby a few days ago," "Yes they did," "I have a question about that," Rukia shrugged, "Alright, wat is it?" she and Ichigo had decided from the start that they would be honest with their children to avoid situations like their own of mistaken identy and un-needed low self-esteem, and any other hazard, 'She's only five years old, wat could be the problum?' "Were do babies come from?" her mouth dropped, it was the question, THE question that every parent (with the possible exception of Ichigo's dad) hated, Rukia shuddered, remembering with disgust wen SHE asked Renji that question, he was a year older than her, she had asked him wen she was ten and he was eleven, he had turned redder than a cherry, she remembered the disgusting terms and explicit analagies he had used, but before she could answer her daughter's question, a loud "RUKIA!" radiated from upstairs, then a loud stomping came down the stairs and she saw her husband with her son in one arm march down stairs, he placed Taiyou on the couch by his twin sister and narrowed his eyes, "Rukia, your child wants to no were babies come from," Rukia smirked, "Interesting, your offspring just asked me the same thing," they looked at eachother and then at their curiouse twins, this was going to be a very long morning
"Ok, Rukia, why don't you start?" she tilted her head and looked at him, "Why? I don't no how to start!" "Then you'll finish," "I don't no how to finish either," "Rukia .... do YOU no were babies come from?" "I asked Renji wen I was ten," Ichigo smiled, "Renji! We'll get him to-" "I still have nightmares, let me tell you, it scarred me for life Ichigo, ever wonder WHY you were my first boyfreind?" he looked at the ground, "Gerat," he then looked at his wife, "You and I are talking later," "Wat's the point in that?" "To rid you of your fears," she tried to avoid a blush but it didn't work too well, "Ok um .... wen two people want to have a baby, ... after a long time of talking ... they have one," Ichigo hoped that would work, but his children gave him the same "Are you kidding me Strawberry?" look that their mother had, "Are you kidding? That dosen't tell us anything!" Tsuki said, Ichigo gulped, "Ok!" Rukia interjected, "Wen that time comes ... the Mommy gets pregnant, and wat that means is that the baby lives in the Mommy for nine months until it's born, that's why Auntie Momo got so big," Rukia felt very proud of this answer, truthfull, yet simple, "... But how do babies get in the mommies in the first place?" leave it to her son, ".... Ichigo?" he stared at the ceiling, "Uh .. well .... uh ... hm. ... A stork!" "A stork?" "A stork?!" Rukia practically shouted, "Yes! Yes a stork! See wen the Mommy wants to have a baby the stork brings her one!" he hoped that was it, "But how does the baby get in the Mommy?" "... A seed," "A seed?" "Yes ... a seed ... the Mommy eats a special seed,  and um, it's like growing strawberries," Rukia turned to him with a look of "Wat the heck are you talking about?!" "Oh, .... how do the babies come out?" Ichigo put his face in his hands, "Well remember Kido?" Rukia interjected, "Yeah," "Well they use a special Kido to transfer the baby out of the mommy!" Rukia smirked in triumph, "Then how come Auntie Momo was screaming and getting mad at Uncle Shiro? And why can't the Daddy get pregnant?" "Because ... uh, you no how Mommy spit heals cuts and scrapes?" the twins nodded, "Well Daddys don't have that stuff so they can't make Mommy spit OR grow babies!" she sighed and pushed Ichigo forward, "And uh ... wen babies are born the mommy is in alot of pain, and see that's why mommys are THE single, best thing in the universe and if anyone tries to tell you diffrent you pop 'em in the jaw," Rukia glared at her husband for encouraging violence, "Oh, then how come Mommy wasn't screaming and getting mad at you?" "Because lucky for both of us Mommy is very, very pain-tolerant and was very hyped up on the mirical meds that the hospital gave her, so much so that she couldn't feel ANYTHING, trust me I tried," "And because I love Daddy very, very much, now who wants chocolate cake?" the twins stood up and started running into the kitchen, Rukia and Ichigo stared at eachother,"We are sad and petifull people," Rukia stated, "I no," "We said we'd always tell the truth," "I no," "Why didn't we?" "Because we're weak," "Mommy! Daddy!" they both looked up to see Taiyou running in the room, "Next time the stork comes can we watch?" "NO!" they said in unison, "Why not?" "Because the stork only likes babies, anything older than a baby will confuse it and it might give YOU a baby," that shut him up, Ichigo smirked, "Well there's SOMETHING to be said for lying atleast," sometimes being a parent was like tredding water, you sink or swim, other times it was like standing at the edge of the earth, and you're nearly guaranteed to fall off unless someone pulls you back up