Parenting 101
Chapter 14
(A/N: For this fic I'm not listing anyone as babysitting a child of their own because I want to play off of the raw person, rather than after they've had that shot of instincts from actually having their own spawn, also, these are all oneshots, they're in no paticular order so events that take place in this fic may or may not apply to other ;) )
Izuru and Shuhei
"Would you just look at it?" "It's the most beautifull thing I've ever seen..." "Yeah... I can't believe Soul Society FINALLY has them!" "It's amazing..." "And so close to our grasp..." ".... MOTERBIKE..." the boys said in unison as drool poured from their mouths, "But it's too expensive," Izuru said as he leaned back, glancing at the store window, "It isn't, it's just a little over two month's pay, we could get one..." "Yeah if we wanted to both STARVE for two months..." "... Wat if we each only starved one month?" "Huh?" "I mean think about it, if we pool our money we can SHARE a moterbike," "That's right..." "It'd be such a babe-magnet! Rangiku would be all over me.." "And I bet I could ask out Momo..." "We could tottally take turns with it.." "But there's still a problum," "Wat?" "We would still be twenty kan short," "Well don't you have an extra twenty lying around?" "No, I had to get my roof repaired after Captain Zaraki chased Ichigo through the city last week... you?" "No... the Men's Association all went to that nice dinner a few days ago and I was stuck with the bill and since we don't have any funds I had to pay out of pocket..." "Oh... so we're both flat broke huh?' "Yeah..." "Wait I have an idea!" "Wat?" "We both get paid next week right?" "Right..." "Well all we have to do is work a part time job that will pay us each ten kan before next week and BAM! We have our moterbike!" "Izuru my freind you are INDEED a genious!"
"Hey Izuru! Look at this!" Shuhei called, waving his freind over to look at a flyer that had been pinned up against a phone pole, "It says they'll pay ten kan per person per hour!" "Wat's the job?" Izuru asked, "Working at a day care," "Oh, well that shouldn't be too hard then,"
"Thank you both so much for volenteering to help out today Leiutents!" the young woman before them exclaimed in joy, Shuhei shrugged, "Think nothing of it, we LOVE kids," he said charmingly, "Wat exactly should we do?" Izuru asked, "Oh just watch the kids that's all, it's nap time right now so it shouldn't be too hard," they both nodded their understanding in a flash she muttered something about preparing lunch and they were left alone... in the room.. with the children... "Well this shouldn't be too hard," Izuru said with a smile, stepping forward and accedentally crushing a toy that let out a loud sqweak...... and then they awoke
"Izuru I think this one needs a bottle!" Shuhei shouted across the room, Izuru tossed a full bottle of milk the way of the Squad Nine Leiutenit, "Lovely, mine needs a diaper change," he muttered as a clean diaper was thrown in his face, "I'm begining to see why that woman abandonded us!" "AND why the job is so difficult!" "But think of it this way; we'll get the moterbike! And if we work all day we won't even have to starve this month!" "Yeah!!" he said excitedly, his energy and zeel renewed.... until he felt a tug on his pant leg, "I want my teddy bear," his mouth dropped open slightly and he looked down at the tiny girl, "Um... I don't no were your teddy bear is..." "Well then, you have two choices, either buy me a new one... or FIND IT!!" she screeched... now it was Izuru who felt like crying...
"Yaaaaay!!!! Horsie! Horsie!!" Shuhei sniveled as he crawled around the floor on his hands and nees wile a little girl sat on his back and pulled his hair to steer... how did a dignified leiutenit of the Thirteen Court Guard Sqauds EVER find himself in this position?! "Horsie go faster!!!" the "child" yelled, "I'm going as fast as I can..." he grumbeled, "Shuhei! We have a code yellow situation here!" the man sighed loudly and turned around, glaring over at Izuru, "Why don't YOU take care of it then?" "Um... I'm a LITTLE busy right now," he muttered as two children coverd in paint swung from his hair, "...Oh..."
"Mr. Doodoo," Izuru looked down and frowned slightly at the little girl, "It's 'Izuru'," "Sure... watever... anyway, were are the snacks?" "S-Snacks...?" he muttered, "Yeah," 'Oh that's right... the woman mentioned something about going to get snacks...' he mused, thinking back to earlier wen he and his freind had been left there to begin with.... "Shuhei! I'm going to go find help, can you stay here for a wile?" "No!" his tattooed freind replied with a huff, "Why not?!" "You're weaker, I need to go so that I don't cave if she wants to leave us alone with the little heatherns the rest of the day!" "... Good point..." he muttered as Shuhei started out of the room and down the hall, he walked and walked.. for three minutes he walked... and then he saw it.. the thing he had been looking for... the light at the end of the hall...... he ran towards it in desperate hopes of finding help wen he heard a scream coming from the room he had left, "SHUHEI!!!" he paused, "It's Izuru!" "SHUHEI HELP!!! HELP ME!!!!" "I'm coming for you Buddy!!" he called, rushing back to the room and finding his freind hogtied to a table with jump rope and being sprayed with glitter and finger paint, "I'm sorry! I never should have left you here to fend for yourself!" "Don't worry about me! Save yourself!" "NO! I won't leave you here alone!" "Shuhei.... you're a real freind..."
-----Hours later------
"We can't thank you enough for spending the day with the kids," the young woman said as Izuru and Shuhei limped towards the door, "G-Great... um... were do we go about getting paid?" "Paid? Oh it seems you've misunderstood.. see.. the posters were for a JANITORIAL job... you both VOLENTEREED so there's no payment..."
HAHA NO PAY AFTER ALL THAT WORK!!!!!
freakin genious!!