Derek The Charmer

Derek The Charmer
He always did this...

Ok at first it was kind of cool but now it was just irritating

And the worst part is that he knows he's doing it

It isn't just some kind of happy accident

To most of the general population Derek Hale is like a bush full of thorns with the ability to glare at and judge you

But when he wanted something- and didn't know you and so couldn't blackmail you- he was THE flirt machine

Now, Stiles acknowledges more than anyone just how WEIRD that is

But it is ABSOLUTELY true....

Just take that time when Stiles wanted to see Godzilla at the midnight premiere but they were sold out of tickets for example

Derek had laid it on so thick</i>

It was astounding

He watched in complete amazement as the former Alpha strode up to the box office with the sweetest grin on his face, leaned over with his butt pointed up and his face right at eye level to that of the teenage girl behind the glass

"Hi," he said softly

Stiles nodded slowly, he didn't even need to be a werewolf to hear that girl's heart thundering and tell that her blood pressure was about the same level as an eighty-year-old who won't stop eating salt

"H-H--Hiii..." she stuttered out

"Listen... I heard you were sold out of Godzilla tickets.... but.. if you just had two just.. laying around somewhere... for opening night, I would just REALLY appreciate it... see most of my freinds and I are coming on Friday but.. I just HAVE to see it opening night.... do you think you can help?" he asked quietly

And then he laid on the ultimate move

He leaned down and bit his thumb nail and stared up at her like a puppy

And even STILES at this point was caught in a weird middle between "Bow down to the almighty Flirt God" and being so overwelmingly disgusted by the incident

But like magic Derek gave him a wistle and a stupid little smile and waved a set of tickets at him- after, ofcourse, thanking the teenager as sincerely as he could

Stiles had a feeling that that girl would hunt Derek down like a wild deer because he MUST be her "first love" or something with the way she was staring at him as he walked back towards the camaro

That was FAR from the only time though- nay, just the first time Stiles had actually seen it in action

It got worse as time passed by....

Just take, for example, when they went to get the new security system loaded onto Derek's dinosaur of a laptop

And Stiles isn't one to judge but he was tempted to offer to buy Derek one for his birthday or Christmas- incidentally the same day- except he doubted he could get his hands on that kind of money but the thing was old

And he knew the first thing out of the computer girl's mouth when she saw it was going to be the same thing, and she'd try to sell him a better one and fuss and complain about loading the security

But that didn't happen....

And the reason is Derek's stupidly perfect face

"I really don't know if this security will work on this operating system... you should seriously consider an upgrade," she said with a dissaproving shake of her head

And there went Prince Charming, bending over the counter so that he was just below eye level and staring up at her with those rediculously multi-colored eyes

"Yeah I know... it's just... I'm so not computer savvy.... and I'm so busy with work.... and I'm trying to help out some kids at the high school and... I just don't have time for lessons... really I just need it to print out some information here and there, maybe Google some new books or something," he said innocently

Stiles nearly gagged

Helped out kids at the highschool?

Is THAT now what he's calling "Being in a pack of werewolves lead by an Alpha who just recently graduated high school"?

Because if it is it's a SORE misrepresentation

Stiles was actually surprised when the girl DIDN'T express interest in having Derek's babies- verbally- right after that

"O-Oh I COMPLETELY understand... my sister has an old laptop too and she keeps refusing to get it changed out because she's always busy with the animal shelter," she stuttered out quickly

"Oh she works at an animal shelter? That is SO neat! My BEST freind Scott works at an animal clinic, he's going to school to be a vet tech now in fact," he said such a.... such a..... such an unexplainably sweet and cute smile

He sounded like a middle-aged woman admiring a newborn child

"Really? Well that's so nice! You know this is going to be a really simple job so it should be ready in about half an hour, we're running a special sale with these ... $20 off coupons, why don't you look around?" she offered, handing him a coupon

And there was that stupid smile again as he placed a hand on his chest and accepted it

"That is SO nice," he squeaked

"Ashley thank you so much," he crooned, patting Stiles on the back and starting to walk off

"C'mon Stiles, let's see what price we can get 'Supernatural' for with this thing,"

And that wasn't even the BEGINNING

Because now that Derek had the powers of Prince Charming he wasn't even KIND OF using them sparingly

He was able to get deals on EVERYTHING and out of EVERYONE

His list of- impressive- accolades included:

A discount on dog grooming

A free box of chocolate from the new candy store

Convincing someone on the internet to cut the price in half on an extremely rare Monster High doll and include free shipping (Stiles wasn't complaining on that one)

Getting better seats at a concert due to complaining of bad eyesight (actually it was Stiles who had the bad vision but who could prove that?)

And a minagirie' of things during the pack's summer vacation such as countless tours and animal interactions that were either discounted, free, or private that most guests weren't offered, and fullfilling Kira's wish of getting a picture with EVERY Disney princess and fairy at Disneyworld- Belle liked them (him) so much in fact that she even got them a table at Belle's Castle for dinner and that place had reservations from two years ago still waiting for a table!

Not to mention that he avoided a pretty bad speeding ticket by telling that cop that his "baby brother Issac really needed him to pick him up from the dentist"

He failed to mention that his "baby brother" was eighteen and was just there getting a cleaning...

The poor guy actually believed Derek's hogwash story and flirted with him for another two minutes before letting him go scott free

But by far his most amazing feat was getting them into Comic Con- every day of Comic Con without needing a prebought ticket

Not. Even. ONE

Derek claimed he knew a guy but Stiles was this close to believing that Derek had some secret underground life he didn't know about...

Although now he DEFINATELY knew how Derek kept in such good standing with cars, clothes, food, and housing with no job and not touching his billions in bonds

"Thank you again SO much Mrs. Martinez! I REALLY appreciate this, my sister is going to love it,"

Stupid smile alert

"Oh no problem Dear, don't you worry about a thing, it'll be done by the 29th so she'll have plenty of time to try it on before Halloween," the nice old woman said as she waved to Derek

The liar in sheep's clothing waved back and hummed as he handed Stiles one of the free cookies the elderly seamstress had given them

"So now Lydia should be able to stop crying about the 'disaster' of a costume Issac bought her and everything in the pack should go back to some symbolance of peace," he hummed as he got into the car

Stiles glared at him

"Do you have even a SHRED of pride?"

"What?"

"Dude you are pulling that 'sexy puppy' garbage left and right! I am SERIOUSLY doubting how much dignity you have!"

"Why does it matter? I'm not doing anything wrong and I'm making people happy, do you really think smiling at girls is making them upset? I've never asked them to give me anything free you know," he pointed out

"But ... still..."

"Stiles are you jealous?"

"What!? No! Maybe..."

"Just don't think of it like that, I'm not flirting.... I'm just smiling and making eye contact,"

Brown eyes narrowed again

"Derek-"

"Besides it isn't like I use this charm selfishly, I do things for you and the pack,"

"Well I could get my own special deals and stuff if I wanted to," he grumbled

"Well yes maybe through bribery.... depending..." Derek muttered

"Wah... are you saying I couldn't flirt my way through it?" he asked, severely offended

"Stiles have you SEEN yourself flirt?"

He was REALLY offended now

"Wah- I'm charming!"

"You have about the same level of charm as a GOAT,"

"Goats are charming..."

"Name ONE incident you have EVER seen that a goat has done something other than torment a person,"

........

Alright so he had a point

"I could charm my way into something just as easily as you ya' know," he hissed

Derek stopped the car at the red light and smirked

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Alright, it's a challenge then, you have two weeks to prove yourself,"

"And if I do?"

There was a considerate pause

"If you do.... I will put up with ANY stupid holiday tradition you want and not complain once,"

Stiles' eyes lit up and he grinned

"BUT if you don't manage to do it you have to tell the entire pack that I'm more charming than you are," he smirked

"You are on... you are SO on..."

~+~

He so wasn't on

It had been a week and a half and EVERY attempt at flirting garnered nothing but the occassional weird look

Except that one time that the girl he was talking to turned around and started making eyes at Derek....

THAT had been pretty embarrassing....

There just had to be a way to do this!

He just had to find a way!

SURELY there was a way to flirt without having a stupidly gorgeous face!

With only a few days left Stiles was close to giving up.... until he was walking through the mall with Derek and suddenly ran into a jewlry store, seeing something in the window that "Adore" didn't even begin to describe

It was a beautifull stainless steel ring with a wolf howling at the moon against black onyx and various other wolf images on the sides

It was gorgeous....

And it was a little early to be Christmas shopping but man he just had to give that ring to Derek!

"Excuse me, how much is that ring?" he asked the sale's woman, pointing directly to it

"I'm sorry but it isn't for sale, it's the last one and is on hold until we get our new shipment tommorrow,"

Stiles looked crushed and Derek looked up with interest to see if he would be able to change her mind

"I... are you sure...? I mean... can you put it on hold for me or-"

"I'm sorry that's against store policey,"

Stiles swallowed a lump in his throat

Derek  was impossible to buy for and he had just found the perfect gift.....

"I just... look... I know it's on hold until the new shipment comes but I mean.. that's tommorrow right? Not like a ton of people are going to want it in a few more hours... I just.... it's for my boyfreind... his birthday is the same day as Christmas and I never know what to get him for ONE gift not to mention two.. I just.. you've got no idea how much that ring would mean to him... wolves are sort of um.. a family thing, and it's how we met and I just.. I mean... I'm thinking of proposing here..."

And all of a sudden the woman behind the counter changed her expression, now looking sympathetic and adoring

"Well.... I guess it IS just a few hours.... I'll wrap it for you,"

He jumped and grinned at Derek who he had just won the bet against

And as she went to wrap that ring the werewolf stepped closer and put an arm around Stiles' shoulders

"Nice,"

"Thanks!"

"Hope you meant what you said about proposing, don't do it on Christmas though, too cliche'," he smirked, patting his shoulders and walking off to look at some pocket watches

Stiles groaned, he could never win...